This is hard….

27 Feb

So most people who know me know that I am a smoker; I’ve been smoking for almost 7 years. I had my first cigarette at 19 years old because I hated life at that moment and decided it was better than smoking crack.  So ever since then I found pleasure in sucking the cancer sticks and enjoying it most after I ate, drank, or after  xrated activities. Funny thing is when I started smoking I was dating someone who didn’t and was too nervous to tell him I picked up this nasty habit because I knew how he felt about cigarettes. I would do everything I could to hide the smell and keep it away from him but I knew he had an idea I smoked, he just never said anything. Good thing was whenever I was around him I never had the urge to smoke unless we had an argument, which then I would pretend to go to the store or take a walk to enjoy my cancer stick. After we broke up we remained friends and I still found myself hiding my habit from him until today. I decided to tell him that I smoke since I’m trying to quit again (for the 50th time). He always been a great person to give me advise and encouragement when I had a problem so I figure he can help me with this one.  Quitting is by far the hardest thing to do especially since most of my friends smoke, a lot of my co workers smoke, even my mom smokes . I decided to try to go cold turkey and I’m not sure if this is the smartest way but I want to challenge myself mentally. Hopefully no one bothers me today because I’m on edge already and it’s only been 14 hours since my last cigarette. Sweet baby Jesus this is hard…..

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2 Responses to “This is hard….”

  1. Sparkle February 29, 2012 at 16:12 #

    Hey Honey! Its 48 hours later since u posted the blog…how r u making out?

    I believe its rough but KEEP PRESSING!

    • umightgetoffended March 14, 2012 at 13:54 #

      lol I only lasted a day, got stressed and went back…blah hopefully next time ill be more successful

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