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Awkward Spanish Girl

25 Jun

 

I recently started watching a mini series on YouTube called The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl by Issa Rae and it is extremely funny. I see myself in her (even though I am not black) and I can relate to her in so many ways. It is definitely a must see and you can check out her other web series on Issarae.com. Watching the web series inspired me to write some of my awkward moments and I wanted to share with the rest of you. And after I write this I’m going to feel more awkward…Great!

  • Awkward moment when I am on the phone with a client and they put me on hold and I happen to like the hold music and start to sing along and the person comes back on the phone and stops me in the middle of a high note. This happened to me the other day and the hold music was Mariah Carey “we belong together”.
  • Awkward moment when your standing outside (either at work or your house) and you see someone who talks to much. I usually pretend to get an upsetting phone call or text so I can walk away.

 

  • Awkward moment when you’re looking at a dirty text or picture and someone walks behind you and you try to lock your phone hoping they didn’t see. (thank you BM for my privacy screen protector).
  • Awkward moment when a guy you don’t like keeps flirting with you and sending you IM’s asking when you’re going to let him take you out. I usually send a “lol” or say I am busy. (apparently that doesn’t work because they still do it).
  • Awkward moment when you’re texting an ex of yours and having a normal convo and they send you a text saying they love you. I usually just send a “awww”, “lol”, “smiley face”, or completely ignore it. I’m still trying to figure out which one is worst.
  • Awkward moment when your picking a wedgie and you see there is someone there…I’ll just pretend I’m wiping something off the back of my pants.
  • Awkward moment when someone ask me or notice my last name and automatically assume I speak spanish. Then I got to stop them mid-sentence and say “yo no hablo”. Then they proceed to say why you don’t speak spanish and I have to go into a whole spiel about my parents not teaching spanish at an earlier age…blah, blah, blah. Then I walk away feeling like a disgrace to my race and wanting to buy rosetta stone.
  • Awkward moment (part 2 of above moment) is when people say “I know your spanish but you don’t act like it”. Like really?! what do spanish people act like (ok I know what we act like and that’s for another post). But then I ask “what race do I act like?” and they usually say black or a mixture of different ones…. WTF!
  • And last but not least… Awkward moment when you realize that that person is just not into you…Whomp Whomp

 

(The awkward, chubby me a few years back…and no, those are just my play glasses)

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Has the Power of the “P” lost it’s value?

14 Mar

The stock value definitely went down when it comes to the Power of the “P”. I had many discussions with my female friends and it seems we have to ask for sex now. That is just absurd to me because before women had the power when it came to sex and men had the power when it came to starting a relationship. Now it seems they control both even though some women wouldn’t admit it. Maybe it’s because more women are giving it up easily, or we don’t have to be ashamed of our sexual needs anymore. Maybe it’s because some men like to get there A-hole tickled by the other team. Either way it leaves a lot of lonely, single females out there wanting to pray to the “O” gods but at the same time wanting the affection and love from a relationship. I am grateful that I am not emotional like most females but I still miss having someone there to spoon and watch TV with (ok I’m being a girl).  There are a lot of successful women nowadays but most of them are miserable when it comes to their personal life because they don’t have a partner. For me I’m not stressing it because I am still young, good-looking, and doing ok for myself. School is my main focus and once I graduate I need to find a better job. I’m just worried once I accomplish most of my goals and I’m living a comfortable life, will I still be alone? Will I turn into one of those miserable witches? Will I turn into a bird lady (I’m allergic to cats)? Only time will tell but until than thank you for the invention of a vibrator….

This is hard….

27 Feb

So most people who know me know that I am a smoker; I’ve been smoking for almost 7 years. I had my first cigarette at 19 years old because I hated life at that moment and decided it was better than smoking crack.  So ever since then I found pleasure in sucking the cancer sticks and enjoying it most after I ate, drank, or after  xrated activities. Funny thing is when I started smoking I was dating someone who didn’t and was too nervous to tell him I picked up this nasty habit because I knew how he felt about cigarettes. I would do everything I could to hide the smell and keep it away from him but I knew he had an idea I smoked, he just never said anything. Good thing was whenever I was around him I never had the urge to smoke unless we had an argument, which then I would pretend to go to the store or take a walk to enjoy my cancer stick. After we broke up we remained friends and I still found myself hiding my habit from him until today. I decided to tell him that I smoke since I’m trying to quit again (for the 50th time). He always been a great person to give me advise and encouragement when I had a problem so I figure he can help me with this one.  Quitting is by far the hardest thing to do especially since most of my friends smoke, a lot of my co workers smoke, even my mom smokes . I decided to try to go cold turkey and I’m not sure if this is the smartest way but I want to challenge myself mentally. Hopefully no one bothers me today because I’m on edge already and it’s only been 14 hours since my last cigarette. Sweet baby Jesus this is hard…..

Is being a drama queen/heterosexual man the lastest rage? (the saga continues)

15 Feb

So I wrote this about 2 years ago and it still seems to apply….. I think I’m going to start playing for the other team because this is getting out of control. Enjoy…

Ok it is 2010 and there are to many heterosexual men acting like drama queens. It’s worst than Diana Ross and Rupaul fighting over who will direct Alexander McQueen documentary movie (to soon?). When a woman has to sit through 2 grueling hours listening to her man go through an emotional break down and explaining to her that his mother didn’t breast feed him as a baby and this is why all his past relationships didn’t work, that is a problem. Men love to call us females drama queens or crazy, when truth be told they are exactly like us. You are the company you keep and men must realize your female companion is a reflection of yourself. So if you chose to settle down finally with a chick, really pay attention to who you are dealing with. Don’t get me wrong I know there are a lot of crazy bitches out there, me being one of them sometimes (cellphone in the water) but I truly believe men love to bitch just as much. I have a lot of male friends and I would say 90% of them bitch more than my females friends (sorry I still love you guys). I’m all for deep intellectual conversations or really knowing a person, but when they start with the “my life sucks”, “I hate my chick or jumpoff”, “she breathes to loud during the movie”, or whatever, it gets a little annoying. I think I am going to start a men’s retreat so they can work on being less of a drama queen.

I think I can, I think I can

6 Feb

 

So during the last few weeks I’ve been in this weird, funky space. One of those moods that you try to attempt a smile but it just looks awkward like Wednesday from the Adams family trying to smile. Mainly my stress has been over finances and how I’m going to pay this bill and that bill. Now I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to pay for school since I only got approved a certain amount from federal loans. It sucks because you try to better yourself but there is always some obstacle in the way of you obtaining your goal. I read an article on the huffingtonpost website a few months back about a gay student that was going to NYU and had to turn tricks just to pay for tuition. If he didn’t come up with $8000 for his next semester he was at risk of expulsion. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/30/gay-sugar-daddies-sugar-babies-sex-tuition-college-students_n_938155.html

So I guess my option is to find a sugar daddy (I kid I kid) because I might be in the same boat as him. Tuition goes up every year, cost of living is up and my pay has stayed the same for the last 4 years. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry but I keep telling myself to look at the bright side >blank stare< and when I find it I will let ya know. At the end of the day I know I will be ok because I always been strong and able to hold myself together. But at this moment I’m just looking for support from certain people and really focusing on getting an A in my first online class (wish me luck). Hopefully I don’ t have to turn tricks… Till next time

Ohh Shout Out to the NY Giants for winning the Super Bowl… New York stand up!!!

Blah

22 Jan

So while everyone is home or out watching football (which I don’t care for too much) I’m stuck at work taking annoying phone calls. Even though I don’t watch football I still want to enjoy buffalo wings, potato skins, and a couple of brewskies. Working Sundays really blows especially when you have a lot on your mind. But I thank the big man upstairs for Netflixs to get me through this grueling day (and of course WordPress). This weekend was disappointing but nonetheless its a new start to the week, and I am grateful to see another day. Also I start online classes soon which I’m exciting about and hopefully that will get me out the rut I’ve been in. Anywho pervs I need help with the next few topics because I’ve seem to run out of ideas at the moment…. I need more inspiration in my life. So give me your suggestions people….

Till next time

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Truth….

16 Jan

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