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Awkward Spanish Girl

25 Jun

 

I recently started watching a mini series on YouTube called The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl by Issa Rae and it is extremely funny. I see myself in her (even though I am not black) and I can relate to her in so many ways. It is definitely a must see and you can check out her other web series on Issarae.com. Watching the web series inspired me to write some of my awkward moments and I wanted to share with the rest of you. And after I write this I’m going to feel more awkward…Great!

  • Awkward moment when I am on the phone with a client and they put me on hold and I happen to like the hold music and start to sing along and the person comes back on the phone and stops me in the middle of a high note. This happened to me the other day and the hold music was Mariah Carey “we belong together”.
  • Awkward moment when your standing outside (either at work or your house) and you see someone who talks to much. I usually pretend to get an upsetting phone call or text so I can walk away.

 

  • Awkward moment when you’re looking at a dirty text or picture and someone walks behind you and you try to lock your phone hoping they didn’t see. (thank you BM for my privacy screen protector).
  • Awkward moment when a guy you don’t like keeps flirting with you and sending you IM’s asking when you’re going to let him take you out. I usually send a “lol” or say I am busy. (apparently that doesn’t work because they still do it).
  • Awkward moment when you’re texting an ex of yours and having a normal convo and they send you a text saying they love you. I usually just send a “awww”, “lol”, “smiley face”, or completely ignore it. I’m still trying to figure out which one is worst.
  • Awkward moment when your picking a wedgie and you see there is someone there…I’ll just pretend I’m wiping something off the back of my pants.
  • Awkward moment when someone ask me or notice my last name and automatically assume I speak spanish. Then I got to stop them mid-sentence and say “yo no hablo”. Then they proceed to say why you don’t speak spanish and I have to go into a whole spiel about my parents not teaching spanish at an earlier age…blah, blah, blah. Then I walk away feeling like a disgrace to my race and wanting to buy rosetta stone.
  • Awkward moment (part 2 of above moment) is when people say “I know your spanish but you don’t act like it”. Like really?! what do spanish people act like (ok I know what we act like and that’s for another post). But then I ask “what race do I act like?” and they usually say black or a mixture of different ones…. WTF!
  • And last but not least… Awkward moment when you realize that that person is just not into you…Whomp Whomp

 

(The awkward, chubby me a few years back…and no, those are just my play glasses)

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This is hard….

27 Feb

So most people who know me know that I am a smoker; I’ve been smoking for almost 7 years. I had my first cigarette at 19 years old because I hated life at that moment and decided it was better than smoking crack.  So ever since then I found pleasure in sucking the cancer sticks and enjoying it most after I ate, drank, or after  xrated activities. Funny thing is when I started smoking I was dating someone who didn’t and was too nervous to tell him I picked up this nasty habit because I knew how he felt about cigarettes. I would do everything I could to hide the smell and keep it away from him but I knew he had an idea I smoked, he just never said anything. Good thing was whenever I was around him I never had the urge to smoke unless we had an argument, which then I would pretend to go to the store or take a walk to enjoy my cancer stick. After we broke up we remained friends and I still found myself hiding my habit from him until today. I decided to tell him that I smoke since I’m trying to quit again (for the 50th time). He always been a great person to give me advise and encouragement when I had a problem so I figure he can help me with this one.  Quitting is by far the hardest thing to do especially since most of my friends smoke, a lot of my co workers smoke, even my mom smokes . I decided to try to go cold turkey and I’m not sure if this is the smartest way but I want to challenge myself mentally. Hopefully no one bothers me today because I’m on edge already and it’s only been 14 hours since my last cigarette. Sweet baby Jesus this is hard…..

Fun facts

15 Jan

So I’m bored at work and was talking to my girly Denise through text and I told her something about me that I haven’t told anyone. So I figure it would be fun to do a few facts about me that some might not know….

  • My favorite color is blue
  • I love seafood
  • My comfort food is mac and cheese with ground beef or tuna fish and crackers
  • I drink entirely too much ginger ale for someone who is trying to lose weight
  • My favorite drink is Henny & coke
  • I used to be a size 13/14
  • I wear a 9/10 in shoes
  • Ants freak me out
  • I think some jewish guys with curly fros are cute (like Adam Sandler and Ben Savage)
  • I was in love more than 2 times
  • Sometimes I just eat the cheese off pizza
  • I really love cheese
  • I wish I had a drag queen swag
  • I’m a Gleek
  • I come up with great ideas but never put them into action
  • I don’t want kids
  • I want to be married before 35
  • I can’t live without my Iphone
  • I like to walk around barefoot (so a clean floor is a must)
  • I like to sleep with 3 pillows
  • If I can have comfortable silence with someone I know they’re a keeper
  • Love sex
  • I’m a sucker for green eyes
  • I only like watching tv shows by myself (no interruptions)
  • I like to cuddle
  • I’m a uber bitch if I’m hungry
  • I hate when people don’t keep their word
  • I really hate liars and pretenders
  • I hate flying
  • I love to be in water
  • I wish I was more creative
  • All my toiletries and books must be in size order
  • I love taking naps
  • I wish I had a  closer relationship with some of my family members
  • I hate olives
  • Love reality TV
  • I want to move to San Francisco
  • I used to wear braces
  • I want more tattoos

Ok that’s all for now….

 

Trashy Tuesdays

27 Jul

Today is Trashy Tuesday. I want to address a few things that I find trashy.

On to the next is Foxy Brown, Miss ill na na not. WTF are you wearing Fox, your not being a good representative of Brooklyn right now.

 

 

Last but not least:

Why Rick Ross, Ricky, Rozay, whatever the hell you want to be called nowadays. Man boobies are not cute at all!! Stick to your music, not posing naked…..

Beware your eyes might hurt after viewing this picture:

Chrissy…..

I got a pimple on my ass!!

23 Jul

Ok so I got a pimple on my ass and it really hurts. But seriously why must some people suffer from the annoyance of having a pimple on the ass. Like why the Man upstairs think this is funny is beyond me. I have to sit mainly on my left butt cheek just so it wont bother me….

Uggghhh they need to come out with pimple ass cream…….

annoyed Chrissy…..