Tag Archives: pain

Purpose

15 Jul

Sometimes I wonder if I move far away where no one knows me would it be better? To start a new life and have a clean slate. To bury my most painful memories and have a new identity. People around me think they know me but do they really? Besides the basic things, my favorite food, color, music, movie; can they really say they know what makes me tick? What makes me sad, angry, happy, vulnerable? Too many times I have put myself out there and for what to get hurt? Someone once told me I must like pain because of the situations I put myself in sometimes. Maybe this is true but I feel it’s time to move on from the pain. I want to bury certain memories. Some of the memories are lucid but many are indelibly printed on the brain, usually the ones you want to erase. But these memories is an image, and each image is like a thread, and each thread is woven together to make a tapestry of intricate designs and textures. And that tapestry tells a story and that story is our past.

But than I remember this is what made me strong in the first place. Pain and struggle is what makes every thing make sense at the end of it all. You must feel a certain purpose once you made it through the turmoil. I’m struggling to find that purpose right now and feel like I’m muddling knees deep in quick sand. But when I look up and see past the dark covering of the trees, I see sunshine seeping through and this is what keeps me going. This might not make sense to some but to most who is struggling to find their purpose should understand the feeling of being lost. It’s not about anyone but yourself and this part of life you must walk alone. But the journey can be short if you can just find your purpose…..

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